Day Seven

The subject of today’s article is another newcomer to the Halloween scene, though he’s made a bit of a name for himself in the realm of overdone internet pop-culture reference. In fact, I think he’s so far removed from that title that most have forgotten his former rise to power and reign as a hot topic of many unfunny memes. Nobody knows what he is or where he came from. Okay, well, technically, he came from Japan, but horrible-yet-endearing monsters are pretty much their forte.

Ladies and gents, let’s talk Domo (I’ve heard him called Domokun, but I guess, in the ol’ US of A, we’re not down with honorifics, so he’s just plain Domo).

My vague understanding of Domo is that he was or is the mascot for Japan’s NHK television station. Well-respected over there, he made the inevitable jump to the American consciousness, where he was found to be endearing to most of us 'gaijin' idiots. Whatever the case, alls I know is that if I met a Domo in any other form than fuzzy, oddly cute plush, I’m sure it’d be terrifying. Look at those teeth, and that horrible, gaping red maw! Take your arm off up to the elbow in one bite, I’d bet.

I’m sure we can all guess where I picked these guys up at by now. Lemme sit you down and tell you about Domo’s Halloween spokesmodelling. He’s lending his charmingly enraged visage to all manner of items. Candy that looks like it might not be so great. A Halloween advent calendar. Candy holders. A piñata. And finally, plushes.

I’m sure the target audience of these items are children, and those weird kids you were in high school with. You know exactly who I’m talking about. The ones that tried to act like they were an anime character, doing that ‘hand behind their head when they laughed/were embarrassed’ thing, wore DBZ shirts every day, put random Japanese words in their sentences, thinking they were totally cooler than everybody else by saying something like ‘Sensei wanted us to dissect a neko in biology class today!’. I think the term is ‘Wapanese’? White kid wanting desperately to be Japanese.

God, those kids were lame. And usually lacking in hygiene.

Despite my proud standing as neither child nor ‘one of those kids from highschool’ I was ensorcelled by these charming brutes. They came in four different styles. There was a fifth one, but nobody goes in to Halloween wondering ‘Where can I get a plain, naked Domo?’.


First up is Dracula. He’s got it all… except pants. That crazy Hippie medallion Dracula usually has, the widow’s peak, a cape. Hell, if you look close, you can see the incisors are actually elongated. Pretty neat, but something about him makes me think ‘Chippendales dancer with a cape’ more than ‘Dracula’.


Next is Pumpkin. It’s like a velour baby costume on Domo, and perfectly frames those Hellish teeth. Points off for the bizarre limb proportions. Poor guy needs a Frankenstein boot for that left foot. And his arms speak of years playing slots non-stop, certain that it’ll only take one more quarter to win big! One more! One more. One more.... Oh, Domo, don’t tell me the Pumpkin getup is your charming spin on wearing a barrel. Well, I mean, I would loan you ten bucks for a pair of pants, but you’ve fooled me before. Go see if Dracula can lend you his cape to cover your shame.


Frankenstein(‘s monster) here didn’t bother to dress up nicely for his photo op, instead going with the tattered, breezy clothing favored by the hobos he’s most likely made up of. It would also explain the constant stink of malt liquor and urine hanging around him. Those are the glazed helpless eyes of someone who has hit the skids in life, and finds his only solace in a Colt 45. Or, a hopeless monster made up of an amalgamation of corpses, that knows even his tailor made corpse-parts girlfriend doesn’t want him. Cheer up guy, at least you got some sweet-ass neck bolts!


Finally, the Devil. With his horns, tail, cape, and… Jesus, what is this, four-for-four on no pants?! At this point I’d even settle for hot shorts, Underoos, or even culottes. Though, based on what little I’ve seen of Japan’s offerings that have come state-side, pants appear to be banned. But only on the women-folk. So either you’re an unabashed lower-half nudist, or what I previously assumed was a gender neutral mascot is actually female.

Truly mind-bending. What’s more mind-bending is the price of these guys. I’ll be the first to admit these things cost more than they’re worth, but again, my crippling addiction to Halloween is unsatable. If you do decide you need to give up all worldly possessions and your first-born for one, make sure you pick through them and pick a winner. Their quality may fluctuate wildly in regards to eye-placement, limb proportion, shape and accoutrement quality.

Take it easy folks, I gotta go make these guys some loin cloths before I get accused of allowing public indecency.