Day Two
What’s basically the number one thing that goes hand in hand with the season? No, it’s not pumpkins… or haunted houses… or costumes… or… wait, what? College parties where you get to feel up a drunk chick dressed as slutty Batman? How can that possibly be in the running for ‘number one thing’? …Oh, well, I guess I see your point. But I mentioned it yesterday! It’s candy, goddamn it! The answer was candy. Good lord, you people…
Anyways, let’s talk candy.
Friend to all, except maybe those crybaby diabetics, candy gets a cool new image to project, claiming to all willing to listen that hey, they’re hip, they’re down with Halloween. And, if you want to be cool like them, you’ll buy some fucking candy.
But before you give into peer pressure, and do something regrettable like buy a bag of Twizzlers just because there’s a spider web in one corner, take a step back and consider ‘will this be Halloweeny on the inside?’. Survey says ‘no’. They’ll still be red and have the consistency of chewing on a candle. And don’t try and bring up the hypothetical scenario entailing a bag of black licorice Twizzlers with a spider web on them. They don’t count because nobody buys them.
But some candies don’t insult our intelligence. Some realize that a pallet swap for the season will sate us. Others may even go that crazy, delicious extra mile to make sure we got the most out of this, spooky packaging or not.
Bachelor number one here is M&M’s offering. This is their ‘Cool Ghoul’s mix’, and while I’d like to think the name is a nice tip of the hat to Zacherle, I’m probably over-thinking the matter. In reality, I’m sure some glossy eyed marketing guy had a sudden revelation and shouted ‘ghoul rhymes with cool!’. Although, the Blue M&M there is kind of shitting on our groove here by dressing up as big fat nothing. On the plain bag, the Red one had the sense to pander to his audience and put on a Flasher-Dracula costume.
I give this a thumbs up, because even though the taste is exactly the same, c’mon, look at those colors. Where else can you get neon green, dusky purple and black M&Ms, without having to shell out $13 a pound for them? Cool ghoul indeed.
Next is Snoballs. Though technically more in the ballpark of cake than candy, they were in a Halloween display, and I’m down for the occasional Snoball. These have to be the most polarizing Hostess cakes out there, by the way. People either like them, or absolutely despise them. Ain’t not middle ground. And they’re not one that, even if you do like them, you eat them often. You’re either good for one like, twice a year, or you’re good for one when Hell freezes over.
This is one of those times to be good for one, fans. That blubbery little igloo coating of marshmallow is making the grade with a fine autumn coat of orange coconut. Not a fan? It’s also the season of the cupcakes sporting the orange frosting and those black sprinkles that look suspiciously like ants.
And thirdly, we’ve got Hershey’s Kisses in Pumpkin Spice. I’m not a fan of Kisses. I find them to be waxy and unpleasant. However, Hershey’s has seen fit to try and branch out, by making Kisses filled with, er, filling. Peanut butter, cherry, coconut, mint, cocoa flavor (at least that’s what the internet’s telling me). And now, to join their ranks, these guys! Though there’s a snag in this review. As much as I’m not a fan of Hershey’s chocolate, I’m even less of a fan of Pumpkin. Well known fact to those around me. Putting the two together left me asking ‘why did you buy me these?’, and thus, another personal relationship put on the ropes by Hershey’s chocolate.
But, for the sake of journalistic integrity, I’m going to eat one. The packaging itself is very chic, with the tiger stripe motif. Not pictured is that the candy itself is orange-colored white chocolate, with a white center. They certainly smell like pumpkin and cinnamon. And…
Jesus Christ are these things Pumpkin Spice-y! The filling has a nice consistency too.
So, despite my personal predilections, Pumpkin Spice Kisses take the blue ribbon in this round. If you like Pumpkin anything, you’ll go for these things. But if you’re like me… well, I’m going to rinse my mouth out.
Tomorrow’s article? Might be my sneering look at Silent Hill: The Movie. Or, if I don’t have time to crank that out, one of the articles I’ve finished ahead of time. Keeping you guessing!
Anyways, let’s talk candy.
Friend to all, except maybe those crybaby diabetics, candy gets a cool new image to project, claiming to all willing to listen that hey, they’re hip, they’re down with Halloween. And, if you want to be cool like them, you’ll buy some fucking candy.
But before you give into peer pressure, and do something regrettable like buy a bag of Twizzlers just because there’s a spider web in one corner, take a step back and consider ‘will this be Halloweeny on the inside?’. Survey says ‘no’. They’ll still be red and have the consistency of chewing on a candle. And don’t try and bring up the hypothetical scenario entailing a bag of black licorice Twizzlers with a spider web on them. They don’t count because nobody buys them.
But some candies don’t insult our intelligence. Some realize that a pallet swap for the season will sate us. Others may even go that crazy, delicious extra mile to make sure we got the most out of this, spooky packaging or not.
Bachelor number one here is M&M’s offering. This is their ‘Cool Ghoul’s mix’, and while I’d like to think the name is a nice tip of the hat to Zacherle, I’m probably over-thinking the matter. In reality, I’m sure some glossy eyed marketing guy had a sudden revelation and shouted ‘ghoul rhymes with cool!’. Although, the Blue M&M there is kind of shitting on our groove here by dressing up as big fat nothing. On the plain bag, the Red one had the sense to pander to his audience and put on a Flasher-Dracula costume.
I give this a thumbs up, because even though the taste is exactly the same, c’mon, look at those colors. Where else can you get neon green, dusky purple and black M&Ms, without having to shell out $13 a pound for them? Cool ghoul indeed.
Next is Snoballs. Though technically more in the ballpark of cake than candy, they were in a Halloween display, and I’m down for the occasional Snoball. These have to be the most polarizing Hostess cakes out there, by the way. People either like them, or absolutely despise them. Ain’t not middle ground. And they’re not one that, even if you do like them, you eat them often. You’re either good for one like, twice a year, or you’re good for one when Hell freezes over.
This is one of those times to be good for one, fans. That blubbery little igloo coating of marshmallow is making the grade with a fine autumn coat of orange coconut. Not a fan? It’s also the season of the cupcakes sporting the orange frosting and those black sprinkles that look suspiciously like ants.
And thirdly, we’ve got Hershey’s Kisses in Pumpkin Spice. I’m not a fan of Kisses. I find them to be waxy and unpleasant. However, Hershey’s has seen fit to try and branch out, by making Kisses filled with, er, filling. Peanut butter, cherry, coconut, mint, cocoa flavor (at least that’s what the internet’s telling me). And now, to join their ranks, these guys! Though there’s a snag in this review. As much as I’m not a fan of Hershey’s chocolate, I’m even less of a fan of Pumpkin. Well known fact to those around me. Putting the two together left me asking ‘why did you buy me these?’, and thus, another personal relationship put on the ropes by Hershey’s chocolate.
But, for the sake of journalistic integrity, I’m going to eat one. The packaging itself is very chic, with the tiger stripe motif. Not pictured is that the candy itself is orange-colored white chocolate, with a white center. They certainly smell like pumpkin and cinnamon. And…
Jesus Christ are these things Pumpkin Spice-y! The filling has a nice consistency too.
So, despite my personal predilections, Pumpkin Spice Kisses take the blue ribbon in this round. If you like Pumpkin anything, you’ll go for these things. But if you’re like me… well, I’m going to rinse my mouth out.
Tomorrow’s article? Might be my sneering look at Silent Hill: The Movie. Or, if I don’t have time to crank that out, one of the articles I’ve finished ahead of time. Keeping you guessing!
posted by Lady at
5:10 PM
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