Day Eleven (seriously late!)
Well, since it’s the weekend, I figured I would knock off yesterday’s article and today’s at a decent hour, then be free to watch Hockey and have those constant moments of terror where I doze off during the P-Coast game, only to be jolted awake by the horn when the home team scores a goal.
Alas, I was struck down by a mysterious illness. Chills, the shakes, couldn’t keep anything down, excruciating back pain, high fever. It could only mean one thing. Something laid eggs in my spine while I was asleep, and they’ll soon hatch and bring ruin to our world. Apologies in advance for being the unwitting incubator to the destroyers of our civilization. It could happen to anyone.
Since I’m afraid I don’t have much time left before these things burst forth from my vertebrae and overtake you all, let’s talk miscellaneous things that don’t deserve their own articles.
First up, we have Devil Ducks. I have a small time duck collection, stemming from an old high-school in-joke, which resulted in me getting ducks from friends at every minor holiday. These two in question came from a Valentine’s care pack and a graduation gift throw-in. I’m not sure what sort of dark obsession Satan has with ducks, but hey, if it’s what he wants to staff his legion of Hell with, well, who are we to question him? Our svelte member of the pair looks like something you’d see tattooed on the forearm of some Rockabilly chick. Below the flaming dice, but right above the cherries. And, for some unknown reason, not only does he have devil horns, but cat ears as well. I don’t know what that’s all about. However, if you put him in water, rather than float, he just kind of tips over onto his side. Duck-cat-devil hybrid? Oh Satan, you dirty perv. Fatsy on the left not only floats majestically, it’s also a water squirter. Skinny bitch takes the loss this time.
Next is monster finger puppets. These things run the gamut from threatening to goofy, and crappy to surprisingly well made. Here to showcase are one of each from the surprisingly well made category. First is your typical, threateningly looming monster. You’ll be fine unless he can actually manage to grab you with those ridiculously undersized hands of his. Run if you can, since those wings look vestigial if anything, and the fact he’s got no legs. Points off for slopping your hair dye around too. Threat level? Low to moderate.
Now here’s Loomy’s… retarded step-sibling. Spaced out buck-teeth, arms down in a decidedly non-threatening manner, and wide, dull eyes going in different directions. This is the monster you don’t need to worry about. He is definitely more afraid of you than you are of him. I can also guarantee he can’t say a sentence without peppering it with ‘hurf’ and ‘durf’. Aww, Loomy’s just all worked up over people trying to bully the poor guy.
All I can really think to do with these guys is to slip ‘em on and do a low-budget production of Of Mice and Men. Loomy plays George, and Dum-Dum there is definitely Lenny.
You can find these guys, their brethren, and about a million various similar ones by googling monster finger puppets. Meatier digits need not apply, however. So, if you were looking for an excuse to get in shape, look no further. Finger puppets won’t fit over fat fingers.
Finally, my favored son of the lot. The ghost keychain I took from the University bookstore. Now, I don’t generally condone theft, however, it was December, and this little scamp was still priced at a decidedly ‘non-sale’ five dollars. If they hadn’t moved two months after the fact, they probably weren’t going to move ever. So I gave the little guy a good home and a new purpose. Scaring unwary bandits away from my keys.
A little boring looking? Maybe. But he’s got that scalloped bottom, and innocent, ‘not that scary for a ghost’ charm about him. Oh, and let’s not overlook the fact that he was there for me at a time I desperately needed a new keychain. And, he has a gimmick! Press the button on his back, and…
Whoa! Not only does he blind you with his strobe eyes, he also does that warbling Ooooooooo-oooooooooo-Ooooooooo-oooooooo ghost noise that a lot of Halloween ‘push button for sound’ toys incorporate. I love this guy.
Hopefully I'll get today's real article done soon. No promises.
Alas, I was struck down by a mysterious illness. Chills, the shakes, couldn’t keep anything down, excruciating back pain, high fever. It could only mean one thing. Something laid eggs in my spine while I was asleep, and they’ll soon hatch and bring ruin to our world. Apologies in advance for being the unwitting incubator to the destroyers of our civilization. It could happen to anyone.
Since I’m afraid I don’t have much time left before these things burst forth from my vertebrae and overtake you all, let’s talk miscellaneous things that don’t deserve their own articles.
First up, we have Devil Ducks. I have a small time duck collection, stemming from an old high-school in-joke, which resulted in me getting ducks from friends at every minor holiday. These two in question came from a Valentine’s care pack and a graduation gift throw-in. I’m not sure what sort of dark obsession Satan has with ducks, but hey, if it’s what he wants to staff his legion of Hell with, well, who are we to question him? Our svelte member of the pair looks like something you’d see tattooed on the forearm of some Rockabilly chick. Below the flaming dice, but right above the cherries. And, for some unknown reason, not only does he have devil horns, but cat ears as well. I don’t know what that’s all about. However, if you put him in water, rather than float, he just kind of tips over onto his side. Duck-cat-devil hybrid? Oh Satan, you dirty perv. Fatsy on the left not only floats majestically, it’s also a water squirter. Skinny bitch takes the loss this time.
Next is monster finger puppets. These things run the gamut from threatening to goofy, and crappy to surprisingly well made. Here to showcase are one of each from the surprisingly well made category. First is your typical, threateningly looming monster. You’ll be fine unless he can actually manage to grab you with those ridiculously undersized hands of his. Run if you can, since those wings look vestigial if anything, and the fact he’s got no legs. Points off for slopping your hair dye around too. Threat level? Low to moderate.
Now here’s Loomy’s… retarded step-sibling. Spaced out buck-teeth, arms down in a decidedly non-threatening manner, and wide, dull eyes going in different directions. This is the monster you don’t need to worry about. He is definitely more afraid of you than you are of him. I can also guarantee he can’t say a sentence without peppering it with ‘hurf’ and ‘durf’. Aww, Loomy’s just all worked up over people trying to bully the poor guy.
All I can really think to do with these guys is to slip ‘em on and do a low-budget production of Of Mice and Men. Loomy plays George, and Dum-Dum there is definitely Lenny.
You can find these guys, their brethren, and about a million various similar ones by googling monster finger puppets. Meatier digits need not apply, however. So, if you were looking for an excuse to get in shape, look no further. Finger puppets won’t fit over fat fingers.
Finally, my favored son of the lot. The ghost keychain I took from the University bookstore. Now, I don’t generally condone theft, however, it was December, and this little scamp was still priced at a decidedly ‘non-sale’ five dollars. If they hadn’t moved two months after the fact, they probably weren’t going to move ever. So I gave the little guy a good home and a new purpose. Scaring unwary bandits away from my keys.
A little boring looking? Maybe. But he’s got that scalloped bottom, and innocent, ‘not that scary for a ghost’ charm about him. Oh, and let’s not overlook the fact that he was there for me at a time I desperately needed a new keychain. And, he has a gimmick! Press the button on his back, and…
Whoa! Not only does he blind you with his strobe eyes, he also does that warbling Ooooooooo-oooooooooo-Ooooooooo-oooooooo ghost noise that a lot of Halloween ‘push button for sound’ toys incorporate. I love this guy.
Hopefully I'll get today's real article done soon. No promises.
Labels: Halloween
posted by Lady at
6:14 PM
1 Comments
